Dear younger self,

Dear younger self, 

You wouldn't believe what you've become 13 years later. 

Here's the spoiler: you'll grow up as a skeptical douchebag with anxiety. You'll hate yourself because you're sexually assaulted by your ex, (you'll be brave enough to say no, but it will leave you reckless; you'll hate being touched) people underestimate your flaws in high school, etc. You'll harm yourself and plan your own suicide at the age of 17. You'll deal with several heart breaks because you put so much expectations on every guy you met; and there are days where you'll feel unloved because those guys don't appreciate you as much as you do. 

You know, 

I wish I could be more like you. You're extroverted, happy, optimist, stupidly funny, able to let go of everything that's not supposed to be yours, and care about people around you. You'll always prioritize everyone else's business above yours. I know that you're my true reflection, after all. I can always be... You.

Now that you're 22.

You'll learn so much from the storm that changes you into a very different person; you'll learn how to be you--the optimist and happy person you used to be. You'll learn how to love yourself, and learn how to love someone without expecting anything in return (when he chooses to walk away, you're okay with that--despite that you give him so much love), you'll learn how to deal with assholes, you'll learn how to forgive, 

You'll learn how to be a human. 

It's a slow and a very painful process but I believe, I will unleash you. You'll make it through the storm on my mind, and grow that sunflower; your identical flower--according to my mom. 

And I want to thank you for that; I wouldn't learn if it wasn't from your help. You remind me of who I am supposed to be, and that's what keeps me alive.

Thank you for being visible to my real friends, they unconditionally love me because you come out for them.

Thank you for reminding me that I'm not just a "half", I'm already whole alone. So I wouldn't look for "the other half" in anyone.

I want to walk along with you. I want to get out of this storm together. I want to win the war inside my head, though it's a lifetime battle. 

With you.

Truly yours, 

Your older self.